Seinfeld is an American sitcom and one of the most beloved shows ever. Often compared to Friends, Seinfeld has nine seasons that follow a fictionalized version of creator Jerry Seinfeld and focuses on his personal life with three of his friends: best friend George Costanza, ex-girlfriend Elaine Benes, and neighbor Cosmo Kramer. You can find this comedy on the streaming platform Netflix, or for purchase on Amazon Prime. To commemorate the sitcom giant, let’s check out the best quotes from Seinfeld that fans still think about to this day.
10. “You Don’t Need Glasses, You’re Just Weak! You’re Weak!” S9E10
- In “The Strike”, fans can see a lot of Frank’s brilliance as well as the best quotes from Seinfeld. This was the 10th episode in the 9th season and features the new version of Christmas, Festivus. In this episode, Jerry dates a woman who looks attractive sometimes and ugly the other times. And Kramer returns to his old job at a bagel shop. All the while George gets out of buying Christmas gifts for his co-workers by making fake donations to made-up charities.
Frank is a harsh man with strong beliefs. This is shown even when George was young. Frank is celebrating Festivus by showing a tape of when George is a child when they’re celebrating the same holiday. You can hear Frank encouraging Goerge to read a poem, to which young George says that he can’t read it without his glasses. Frank quickly replies with “You don’t need glasses, you’re just weak.” This silly, yet harsh statement is hilarious and still brings laughs to so many fans.
Related: Funniest Quotes from 90s Comedies
9. “This Woman Hates Me So Much, I’m Starting to Like Her” S5E9
- “The Masseuse” is the ninth episode in the fifth season. It follows Jerry who gets mad when he dates a masseuse for not letting him get a massage from her. However, Kramer and George get one without issue.
It’s a common joke that the more someone hates you, the more you crave that attention. George shows these feelings as well in this episode when he explains to Jerry that he’s starting to like this woman who seems to hate him. When Jerry and the masseuse go on a double date with George though and his new girlfriend, it’s obvious that Jerry’s girlfriend doesn’t like him, which drives George to extremes, giving us this magnificent quote. When Jerry questions what he means, George responds with “She just disliked me so much, it’s irresistible.”
Check Out: Weird Movie Quotes That Don’t Make Any Sense
8. “The Tradition of Festivus Begins with the Airing of Grievances. I Got a Lot of Problems With You People!” S9E10
- Another one of Seinfeld’s best quotes comes from “The Strike”. It shows Frank in all his glory talking about what Festivus is while everyone gathers around.
Frank Costanza, also known as the creator of Festivus, is George’s father. Due to his disgust with the commercialism of Christmas, as well as his dislike for tinsel decorations, Frank created this version where he often aired out his disgust and annoyance with others. It’s a hilarious moment when so many are gathered to join George’s family at this dinner, just to have Frank start criticizing others. As they all are seated at the table, he announces what Festivus is, and then follows up with “I got a lot of problems with you people”, and starts going down on Kroger.
Read More: Best Parks and Rec Quotes
7. “You’re a Nice Guy, But I Actually Only Have Three Friends. I Can’t Really Handle Any More” S7E8
- “The Pool Guy” follows Jerry who has a hard time telling the pool guy at his new health club that there really isn’t room for another member of his friend group. All the while George’s world collides when Elaine starts hanging out with Susan.
Seinfeld does a great job of having humor in relatable situations. It’s hard to balance friends, and Jerry knows this. When he meets someone new at the health club, Jerry has trouble letting him down easily. Finally, at the subway, Jerry is honest and says that he can’t really handle any more friends, a feeling that some of us might feel often. It’s the blunt, relatable humor that really makes it one of the best quotes from Seinfeld.
6. “I’m Much More Comfortable Criticizing People Behind Their Backs” S7E1
- One of the best quotes from Seinfeld goes to “The Engagement” where Jerry and George are sitting in a coffee shop and vow to turn their lives around. Jerry decides to call the woman he recently broke up with because she shushed him. And Goerge rethinks his former girlfriend and decides to propose.
Aren’t we all? It’s easy to criticize when the person isn’t in front of us. This is yet again another example of why Seinfeld is one of the best sitcoms. They bring humor into relatable topics, like being too scared to say anything negative to someone’s face. George, thankfully, is always willing to speak the truth that we’re all guilty of. While his integrity isn’t there, none of us can really deny it.
5. “I’ve Driven Women to Lesbianism Before, But Never a Mental Institution” S3E2
- “The Truth” features one of the best quotes from Seinfeld. It follows Jerry as he’s being audited by the IRS. Goerge’s new girlfriend is involved as an accountant and former IRS auditor to help. Unfortunately, George isn’t too happy with the relationship and when she asks him to tell her the truth about how he feels, he obliges.
Breakups are hard, but they’re even harder for someone like George. When he ends up telling his new girlfriend how he feels about her, their split sends her down a depression episode which then leads her to a clinic. This of course leads to George’s thought process of how his breakups usually end up, which is hilarious to think that he’s usually the gateway before becoming a lesbian.
Check Out: Best Breaking Bad Quotes
4. “Serenity Now!” S9E3
- One of the best quotes from Seinfeld is featured in “The Serenity Now”. Frank sets up his new business selling computers and hires both Goerge and Lloyd to compete against each other. But his new relaxation technique is driving everybody nuts. And so, the whole show has one of the most famous phrases repeated constantly.
There’s nothing better than a little repetition to really calm the nerves. Especially something that is repeatedly being yelled at. So when Frank is advised to say “serenity now” when his blood pressure spikes in the danger zone, it turns into an episode of chaos. Instead of simply saying it as a reminder to calm himself, he ends up shouting it, which identifies every situation.
3. “You Got a Question? You Ask the 8-Ball”
- “The Reverse Peephole” shows Elaine who is embarrassed by Puddy’s fur coat, Kramer trying to keep Newman from getting evicted, and George who carries everything in his wallet, even though Jerry is through wallets.
David Puddy, commonly referred to as just Puddy, is the on-and-off boyfriend of Elaine Benes. The mechanic has a lackadaisical personality which is seen in this episode when he shows off his magical 8-ball. Throughout the whole episode, Elaine is embarrassed that he’s wearing a fur coat. But at the very end, she’s shocked that he’s thrown it away, saying that he saw Jerry wearing it and realized it looked silly, then proceeded to show off his new magical jacket that has an 8 on the back, and refers it to the 8-ball toy, by far one of the best quotes from Seinfeld.
Related: Best Tom Wambsgans Quotes for Your Next Succession Rewatch
2. “No Soup For You” S7E6
- “The Soup Nazi” is a fitting name for this episode as it features one of the best quotes from Seinfeld that relates to the quote. The episode follows a soup stand owner who is obsessed with his customers’ ordering procedure, but his soup is so good that people line up down the block for it.
The sitcom has several catchphrases that fans say throughout their everyday lives. One of those catchphrases includes “No soup for you”, which is said by the Soup Nazi. The Soup Nazi is the name of the soup stand owner who denies soup to those that go against what he says or complain about any of their orders.
Check Out: The Ultimate Laughter Riot: The 30 Best Sitcoms of All Time
1. “I Lie Every Second of the Day. My Whole Life is a Sham” S2E5
- “The Apartment” features one of the best quotes from Seinfeld that are still funny to this day given by George. When an apartment becomes available in Jerry’s building, he helps Elaine get it, only to regret his decision. George, on the other hand, starts wearing a wedding ring because he’s heard that it helps single guys pick up women.
During this episode, George takes it upon himself to fake being married in hopes of getting more women to pick him up. When Jerry suggests that he leave while someone visits, George simply says that he lives a lie “every second of the day. My whole life is a sham,” which is hilarious to think back to all of the things that he’s done to try and impress, as well as his blunt personality to admit to his bad integrity.