Last Thursday, my 14-year-old daughter got paid $20 for three hours of babysitting. She won’t be able to make that as a server at 20!
This got me thinking: Disney+ has the best marketing opportunity ever. Target miserable parents desperate for an hour off (that’s me included)!
“Don’t pay for a babysitter again! Subscribe to Disney+ and our family-friendly schtick will keep your kids hypnotized for hours!”
$7 for a month or $20 for three hours… My daughter’s gonna be broke!
Saving the family single-handedly
I was joking, though I’m not sure anymore!
How many marriages would be saved with a weekly date night? It’s an expensive proposition when you’ve got some mouthy teenage kid to bribe.
Step up Disney+!
“Kids, mommy, and daddy are going to Chick-fil-A to rekindle our love… Here’s the remote Danny, Sandy, Rizzo. We’ll be back after <add your favorite Pixar movie here>. Remember, FaceTime us if there’s a problem!”
Well, they’ve got issues. For one, naming their kids after the cast of Grease.
However, if these made-up kids can’t get to the bleach or medicine cabinet, and they’re locked in, what’s the problem if Disney+ is babysitting?
Parents do far worse when on holiday. The caregivers kids are left with can be seriously shady! Disclaimer: not all holiday locations, just some. You know who you are!
Why does Disney+ have this power?
Anyone who has spent 10-15 minutes looking through its content realizes two things.
1. “Most of this s*** ain’t for grown-ups.”
2. “This s*** will keep a kid quiet indefinitely!”
There is no third option unless you’ve got Hulu, and I already know you haven’t. Who has right? (Probably people who name their kids Danny, Sandy, and Rizzo, that’s who).
Hulu is where Disney’s more mature titles go. Disney+ is largely kid-friendly. What better platform for some diversionary children’s entertainment? It’s just good business!
Some will put Disney+ to good use, yet there are only so many times you can watch “not cinema” like The Avengers. Thank you, Mr. Scorsese.
A few will be looking to unsubscribe once The Mandalorian finishes. Don’t believe me? This is what Disney+ offers right now!
We’ve seen it all before. It’s only those with a little attention deficit disorder that’ll get locked down by its offerings.
Only $7 for Disney+ infinite babysitting service? Bargain! That’s one big reason to stay subscribed to the new streamer. Perhaps there’s merit in sticking around beyond the new Star Wars TV show.
Plus, there’s enough content with themes adults can appreciate, too. What are you waiting for, Disney? Make that pitch!